Things to Ponder: Renesmee Carlie Cullen
by boring the goose
Summary: Ten things about Nessie she feels are worth sharing. A two part one-shot.


**Things to Ponder: Renesmee Carlie Cullen**

_Disclaimer: I like Nessie, but it's such a dumb name. So no, I don't own Twilight_

_One_

I look older than both my parents.

As I am something of a novelty to the natural world, my family had no idea what to expect when it came to my aging. My father proposed that my final physical age might depend on _his_ final physical age. My grandfather had protested, saying that I would most likely age to the point where my mother became pregnant with me, as almost everything else, genetically, was my father's. Either way, I was looking at a lifetime of endless puberty, something I was _not_ looking forward to in the slightest. By the time I approached my sixth birthday (about sixteen years, appearance-wise) I'd submitted myself to the fact that this was how I would look forever.

However, in my final year of development, I reached what could only be described as a growth spurt. Up until then, my aging had been gradually slowing down, until I matured at what could be considered a somewhat normal rate. It was like I was a baby again; I seemed to get older by the day. Everyone watched as developed, becoming more and more "lady-like", as Esme liked to call it. I surpassed my parents, then all of my uncles and aunts. When I abruptly stopped growing on my seventh birthday, the only Cullen that could be considered older than me was my grandmother, and even that was a stretch. In the end, I looked about the same age as the average college graduate; that is to say, around twenty-five years old.

_Two_

Because of said aging problem, I have never gone to high school.

My father once told me that I wasn't missing anything, by being homeschooled all my life. Just the lunch period, which apparently was always memorable. It was the time that the human approached my family, generally on a mission to ask them out on a date. It sounded amusing, but I agreed that I didn't want to endure the mediocre teachers that the rest of my family encountered on a daily basis. I thought I was lucky.

But when I started taking classes at a nearby college, my confidence in this was shaken. No matter whom I talked to or when I talked to them, at one point or another my high school would come up. I ended a lot of friendships that way; by discussing secondary education. No one seemed to feel comfortable with a homeschooled freak. And as I wasn't aging, it was likely it would remain a prime topic for the examination of others.

In the end, I just lied. It was really simple, actually. Every time I changed colleges (every time the rest of my family changed high schools) I made up a new story. If two of my former classmates were to collide, a one-in-a-million chance, I would find some slightly awkward way to bridge the gap between the two tales. It was the perfect solution.

_Three_

I hate to be around my parents when they are all lovey-dovey.

It could just be that I'm part human, and that most humans are intolerant to their parents' intimate moments. It would make sense, I guess. But I don't have a problem with anyone else being intimate around me. My aunts and uncles, my grandparents…none of it really throws me. Except for EdwardandBella. Like they're permanently attached at the hip or something; you can't have one without the other. They were a pair, and not in a cute, adorable way. More in a "why won't those dang teenagers stop making out in the middle of a family park" sort of way. I was embarrassed to go out in public with them together. I could go book shopping with Mom. I could go running with Dad. But whenever _EdwardandBella_ paired up, I didn't want to be anywhere _near_ them.

_Four_

Sometimes, I don't think my parents are actually in love.

The moments are always fleeting, but I would be lying if I denied their presence. My parents just seemed so damn _happy_. They never fought, and if they did it was some pathetic little bickering about who loved the other more. _No one_ is like that, especially two people eternally trapped in their rebellious phase. None of my aunts and uncles were so peaceful; that's for sure. Rosalie, being the superior-minded, overly-confident, slightly vain woman that she is, is always looking for a fight. Uncle Emmett is usually able to smooth most of these over, but sometimes things get nasty and a few of Esme's furniture pieces are broken. The fights between Alice and Jasper are much more serious, usually lasting for days where other fights would last for minutes. They're usually about the past, which can be a rather touchy subject for both of them. These fights are much rarer than Emmett and Rosalie's, but they are there. Hell, even Carlisle and Esme disagree once every few decades.

But not my parents. They're perfect. Except that, no one is perfect. Perfection is an illusion of the mind, an ideal that doesn't exist, even among immortals. It's never a compliment whenever someone calls me "perfect". And my parents use that word all the time.

_Five_

I hardly ever use my projecting power anymore.

It was never a conscious _choice_ to stop projecting, it just seemed logical that, as I developed a vocabulary, that I use it instead of placing pictures in the heads of others. Now I only us my power at the most intimate of moments; whenever I don't have any words to say, or when I don't feel like ruining a moment with a couple botched words. Sometimes, I can't project at all, just because my would-be projectee is human. As I integrated with humans more, I had to reign myself in; forget about my strange talent. It was just better that way.

In the end there are only three people I will share my thoughts with: Zafrina, of the Amazons, because she has a power similar to mine and understands exactly what I am doing. Whenever she visits, I spend most of my time with her, just because she can help me to improve my thoughts as I show them. She trains me to show just enough, not too much. The second person is my mother. I share my thoughts with her because, like it or not, I have always been a Momma's girl, and she doesn't have the advantage my father has of hearing my thoughts twenty-four seven.

The third and last person I will project on is Jacob.

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_Author's Note: So that's the first chapter of my two-chapter one-shot. Kind of contradictory, isn't it, a two-chapter one-shot? I would have made it one big chapter, except I was too lazy to do so. The next five "things to ponder" will be about Nessie's extended family, the pack, and Jacob._


End file.
